My Facebook feed is full of heavy topics lately: Social Injustice & Inequality, The homeless and poor, Illegal Immigration, Crisis in Israel, and the threat of ISIS… the list goes on and on.

I am going to pick one and discuss it a little more in-depth. Domestic Violence

I see so many good intention-ed folks making comments about “why don’t women just leave?” and “I wouldn’t put up with that”… things that I have said myself over the years. One simply doesn’t know what they would do until placed in that situation. We can imagine, we can think we have a plan. But when it comes down to reality, how we would react in any given situation is up for review after we are placed in that position.

“Do you feel safe at home?” This (or some variation) is a standard question at any prenatal meeting with your healthcare provider these days. And with good reason, a woman is beaten in the US every 15 seconds, and “according to the U.S. Surgeon General, domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States“.
Each day …..4 women die as a result of abuse.
Each day …..3 children die as a result of abuse.
Read those statistics again…

4 women.

3 children.

Each.

Day.

That is 1,460 women per year. And 1.095 children per year.

Two nights ago a former childhood friend and schoolmate became one of those statistics. Her name was Crystal. She wasn’t just a number. She was someone’s daughter, sister, Aunt, Mother, Friend. She was a living soul.

As birth workers, we are in the privileged position of seeing into the lives of women and their families closer than many others can or do. We have to ask these questions or share information with our clients about domestic violence because it is so prevalent.  One in 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. And pregnant and postpartum women are at significant risk.

 Pregnant and recently pregnant women are more likely to be victims of homicide than to die of any other cause. ~ * JAMA article

And it isn’t just women, men are harmed in domestic abuse as well. Crystal’s adult son was killed while trying to confront his Mother’s alleged attacker, who happened to be her husband.

Domestic violence is of particular concern here in Alaska. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Alaska’s statistics on violence against women are among the highest in the nation. Due in part to the significant alcohol and drug abuse that happens here in our great state. Also to the remote nature of many of our towns and villages, there simply are not resources to help women out of violent situations, let alone women with children.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship seek help. There are people who care, and those who can and will help you. Don’t wait, don’t become a statistic. Don’t end up like Crystal. In the Kenai area you can call the Leeshore Center (907) 283-7257 for the rest of Alaska, check here for a list of resources and phone numbers. 

If you have never been in an abusive relationship or are not in one now, count your blessings. Thank your partner for their love and respect.  I will also challenge you to read some of the resources I have linked to, prepare yourself to know how to assist someone trapped in domestic violence today, be prepared! Volunteer at a local center or make a donation to support them in their efforts of helping women and families.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline number is
1-800-799-S A F E 

ETA: If you would like to make a donation to help with Crystal’s final expenses, please donate here. Thank you!

More resources:

Help for Abused and Battered Women  Practical application, safety planning, privacy and protection, information on restraining orders, etc.

The Facts on Domestic Abuse  Data on all forms of domestic violence: rape, stalking, assault, homicides, resulting health issues.

*JAMA article: Frye, V. (2001). Examining Homicide’s Contribution to Pregnancy-Associated Deaths. The Journal of the American Medical Association, 285, No. 11, March 21, 2001