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Monthly Archives: November 2014

Mom

Today is my Mother’s birthday. Mom.montage.2 Years ago I heard Dennis Rainey challenge folks to honor their parents by writing them a tribute. I never got around to doing that for either of my parents and now that I only have my Mom left I feel I’d better get to it. So here’s a few of my memories and my feeble attempt at honoring my Mom for being, well, my mom.

I interrupted my Mom’s 19th birthday bright and early on a cold Monday morning. That was the last time I was an early riser or that I liked Mondays. Going through life sharing a birthday with my Mom has been an experience. As a child it wasn’t so cool. My birthday was never “mine” like my brother and sisters who had their own days. I guess I was jealous. As an adult sharing birthdays with my Mom is a special treat, one that I’m happy to have. Even though we don’t always see each other on our special day, it still is “our” special day, and occasionally we throw in a turkey too. I have often wondered how G-d could make two people who were so different share the same day. He must have a sense of humor.

I remember my Mom baking each of us special cakes for our birthdays. Sometimes they were elaborate like Barbie doll dress cakes, other times they were just plain old cakes. We didn’t usually have big birthday party bashes, but we always had cake and family over. 🙂 Sometimes our birthday got preempted by Thanksgiving festivities. Funny things a kid will remember.

I also remember that my Mom could be a wonderful good cook, when she wanted to. Then there was goulash… *barf* I also remember the time the pressure cooker lid exploded off and hit the ceiling…

I remember having to wash the dishes… so many dishes. I hated it. Thanks to my Mom, I love dishwashers. *snicker*

Life wasn’t easy for me in a lot of ways but I always knew that my Mom loved me. There were always hugs and kisses. We went fishing a lot. Camping too. I love camping. Hunting was another family activity. We played Atari (yep, we’re that old) and then Nintendo.  All of these favorite pastimes instilled in me by my Mom.

My Mom is a very social person, all of my friends loved her. I thought they were nuts! I remember one time being particularly offended that my friend Lisa would sit and talk to my Mom more than me! I understand why now of course… but back then, I was not amused!

My Mom never bad-talked my Dad. Even though they had split when I was so young, when I asked about him she was always kind and related him lovingly to me and with a hint of something I didn’t quite understand back then. When I told her that I wanted him in my life she managed to find him and get into contact with him, all this in a pre-internet age.

As a kid you always think that there is something wrong with your parents. You know, they are too strict or too nosy or just annoying. Yeah, I thought the same thing about my Mom. It isn’t until you become a parent yourself that things become a bit more clearer.

We’ve had our differences over the years. We’ve had our fights, our periods of silence, our tears, and then our hugs. She’s not perfect, she’s a human. I remember that day, when I realized that my Mom was human! Before that she was some super-heroic Wonder Woman type person! Ha! G-d does have a sense of humor. She’s made mistakes, just as I have, we’re not so different after all. That’s part of learning through life.

Sometimes now, I open my mouth and her words come out. I know that she has always done the best she could with what she had. I hope that when my own kids look back that they can say something similar about me… and know without doubt that I always loved them, and always will, just like she loves me and I love her. Thanks Mom… Happy Birthday!

Nationalism

This is my new most often used word I think. At least in the last couple of days. Nationalism, sounds like a nice little word. We are a Nation, being citizens of said Nation, we’re American Nationalists… right? What does it mean really?
Nationalism is in its simple definition is a belief, creed or political ideology that involves an individual identifying with, or becoming attached to, one’s nation. I would argue that most people believe that Nationalism is simply a feeling of pride, loyalty or protectiveness for their own country. Many folks would say that they are Nationalists, or Patriots.

Not so bad. Or is it?

Nationalism can be a powerful means of achieving goals as a country. Nationalism can also be a tool of manipulation by the leadership of a group or nation and can lead to grave violence.

The dark side of nationalism.

What about all those Germans, good citizens who stood by and said nothing while Jews, Christians, Blacks, Asians, Romanis (aka erroneously known as “Gypsy”), Gay-Lesbian-and-Trans-gendered people, physically disabled individuals, those with opposing political views, other religious peoples, Soviets, Ukrainians, Poles, and I am sure others…were systematically murdered, are those Germans who said nothing partly to blame? (BTW, I would have been one of those who Hitler would have exterminated, would you?)

If you are a proud American and you move overseas, you see yourself as Patriotic and staying true to your roots. A good thing right? Yet, if you are say, from Mexico, and you move to say, America, you are less than loyal for keeping your Nationalism/Patriotism to your home country. You are an interloper at best, a traitor at worst. Someone to be exiled. Double standard much?

History tells us that Nationalism can lead you straight to the gas chamber. When people are in despair they look for something to believe in, often this is Patriotism or Nationalism and is often attached to or merged with a religious or philosophical ideal. The belief that we as a people will “Stand United”… or we will prevail over challenges and disaster and that “God is with us”. The German people needed such after the effects of the Great Depression. Hitler was all too willing to oblige with a system of promoting nationalism via propaganda to the ultimate end of vilifying entire people groups, down to exterminating them based upon a philosophy. An extreme example you say, not going to happen here.

Really?

Hitler used the media as his highly effective propaganda machine. We are greatly influenced by the media in our own country. There are two main camps, the conservative news sources and the liberal news sources, then there are the other sources such as social media. Both main outlets are suspect by the opposing view-point. Both have been shown to manipulate the news, reporting opinion over fact. Neither can be trusted in my opinion and are simply propaganda machines. One must really research anything reported these days to see what the real truth is. And many of us simply don’t have time for that.

Remember what happened September 11, 2001? Yeah, United we Stand, how can any of us forget. We remember what we were doing the minute that the news hit the airwaves. We were shocked. Time seemed to stand still. Toby Keith has a song entitled “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue/The Angry American” that the charts loved that embodies the common feeling of the day. We went to war with “extremists” yet if you get down to it, we went to war with Muslims. An entire ideology that spans several people groups. Ah but you say, this is different, they attacked us. “They” attacked us. Who is “they”? There were 19 Al-Qaeda extremists. Did we just vilify an entire group of people based upon the acts of these 19 men? But, but, there are a lot of “buts” with this example, and some I cannot argue with. So let’s try another…

For Nationalism to be successful we have to define that Nation… with borders. Cross my borders without permission and you are trespassing, breaking the law, an alien in my Nation. An illegal alien. Say illegal alien (or often just illegal) and you automatically envision a darker skinned Mexican National. Yet Mexican Nationals are not the only people crossing our borders without permission. People from over 75 countries around the world have been documented crossing our borders illegally, much more in number than those haling from Mexico. Have we not vilified an entire people group based on propaganda? (The propaganda being that *only* Mexicans are coming here to “mooch off” of our social benefit systems. Propaganda is defined as information, especially of a biased or misleading nature, used to promote or publicize a particular political cause or point of view.) Many also despise these folks due to their own form of Nationalism, speaking their own language, being proud of and displaying their own flag(s) and insisting that we honor their heritage as well. Pushy aren’t they? But if you support your own Nationalism and don’t support another’s individual’s right to their own form of Nationalism, what does that make you?

I believe that Nationalism is a slippery slope which often leads to violence, dare I say evil? History is replete with such examples. This is the “dark side of Nationalism” which I speak of. I urge caution to unhindered Nationalism. It takes critical articles about America and its endeavors to keep this in check, including those aimed at our military. Actual journalism and not opinion. We as a vigilant people must check ourselves, check our Country’s actions. If we are viewed as aggressors, we should investigate the reason. We must be our own Internal Affairs force. If we don’t like negative press, perhaps we should clean up our collective act?

never.quote

Veteran’s Day 2014

Old Glory

Old Glory

I’ve always felt that Veteran’s Day was something to pause and think about. Think about those who served our country and are still serving our country. Think about those we know and love, and those we’ve never met. Think about how war affects our lives even if we are not involved in the conflict. Think about how war drives our economy, our country. Think about how war is hell, for everyone involved.

I may have changed the way I think about war over the years, but I will never change the way I feel about our service members. Those who were forced into mandatory duty and those who volunteered. I see honorable people, who served with the best of intentions. Those who felt duty bound to fight well. Those who made it back home alive, albeit forever changed. And those who are gone but not forgotten.

I have a long list of people I know and love who have served or are serving. Some of those folks aren’t with us anymore. I am thankful for their presences in my life, for each of them bring something special just by being.

But I still wish that they didn’t have to… oh for the day when war is no more.

One of those reasons I have changed my view on war and Nationalism in general is the fact that 22 veterans commit suicide, every single day.

22

Put that number in the front of your mind.

Twenty-two veterans come to the end of their rope every day. Why? In part because of the extreme duress they experience during conflict. Partly because of coming “home” is never the same, because they are never the same. Assimilating back into society can be near impossible for some people, it was hard for my Dad. There can be physical challenges for Vets such as amputation or loss of hearing, sight or other things that we take for granted each day. There are mental challenges, those hidden scars that we simply don’t acknowledge because if we did we might have to examine our Nationalism a little closer…

Another issue is homelessness. HUD estimates that on any given night there are around 50,000 veterans who are sleeping on the streets. This number is simply hypothetical as there is really no specific count of veterans who are homeless. We do know that there are a lot of Vets sleeping on the streets.  Right behind them are an estimated 1.4 million veterans who are “at risk” for becoming homeless due to poverty, lack of support and poor housing conditions. We don’t like to talk about this much, it is one of those inconvenient truths about the effects of our war efforts have on those who are doing the job that others only dream up from the comfort of their elected offices.

Mental health is a huge issue for veterans and their families. War is hell. I think I’ve said this a few times now, you get the picture. Not only for the returning service member but for those who kept the home fires burning as well. PTSD is being diagnosed in greater numbers for both military personnel and their family members. Many veterans suffer from un-diagnosed PTSD and self medicate with drugs and/or alcohol. Which leads to its own set of additional problems, such as unemployment, homelessness, deteriorating health, broken families, abuse, etc.

So today when you are honoring those you know and love for their service (rightly so) also remember the forgotten Vets. The ones on the street. The ones trying to drown their horrors in a bottle. And those staring their own death (by their own hand) in the face one last time… Perhaps you can let these people know that they are not forgotten. A donation to a helpful charity. Buy a Vet a meal. Better yet, make a Vet your friend. You just never know what may come of your kindness in the life of another human being.

Peace~Shalom.

 

 

Resources:
VA-funded National Veterans Crisis 1-800-273-8255

Alaska Veterans Assisting Veterans

 

ETA: I made a few changes and additions to this post partly due to the inspiration of my friend. Thank you Charity for reminding me.

November…. what?

I seem to have been caught in a time warp! Holy smoke’ms its November 1st! Wait? What? Where has the time gone. It seems like only yesterday I was out at the cabin putting on some new sealer… or stuck in the snow trying to drive out (not a good memory!) or waiting for break-up to finish and the snow to melt away. And look, now we are cutting wood and burning in the stove, waiting for some white stuff to accumulate. Time does fly here, guess that means I’m staying busy and enjoying life.

November brings some fun stuff for us. *First, don’t forget to set your clocks back tomorrow.*  There is a fashion show coming up that Thing 1 is going to participate in. It is a recycled fashion show where the clothing has to be fashioned out of items destined for the landfill. She has to design and create her outfit then model it runway style! We will keep you posted on the progress of this exciting project!

November is a month full of birthdays… the Twins, Macadoodle, Me, Myself and Mom, some old friends and a few others, and an anniversary thrown in for fun… Plus the food & fun of Thanksgiving! A lot to keep us busier!