Alaska on my mind…

Source: Facebook* see footnote

I saw this meme on Facebook recently. I see this type of comment and/or meme often as I have a diverse group of friends. This image disturbed me greatly and I felt the need to respond to it. As a white person, speaking to mostly white people, intending to open a constructive dialog I will try to relate this in the best way I can, without intending to belittle or make of light of the struggles that people of color face.

This meme suggests that white people who face poverty and other hardships means that there is no privilege involved, that “white privilege is a myth” and racist. White Privilege does not deny that white people have experienced struggles both in the past and currently. White privilege does not mean that every white person is born with a silver spoon in their mouths. It doesn’t mean that white people are somehow spared from adversity or hatred…

White privilege is a system. It is the way our country functions. It is simply the status quo…

White privilege exists, it is not about hate per say (but it can be). Let me try to relate: Have you ever gone to the store to buy a pair of pantyhose and can’t find any in your skin tone? What about a Band-Aid that you need to cover a wound and you would like it to blend in and not be so noticeable? What about make-up? Up until a few years ago (and still in some places) anyone who didn’t have some shade of “ivory” or beige skin simply could not find a darker shade to suit their skin tone without going to a high-end supplier. Same is true with hair care products, etc.

I do understand why folks recoil at the term “white privilege” because I did at first. I thought I was being labeled a racist or saying that I promoted hatred against people of color. Thankfully I have some very dear friends who were patient & understanding, who took the time to hear my concerns and then explain what white privilege is. And also what it is not. Which inspired in part my own attempts at quelling this notion that white privilege equates to hate.

….these examples (make-up, bandages, and pantyhose) are basic to privilege. Something that we take for granted because we don’t have to search for things in our skin tone, everything is geared to “our” skin tone.

There is “right-handed” privilege if you will, because almost everything in our culture is geared for right-handed people, what about lefties? They have to change their natural function to simply open a door.

There is “Christian” privilege in this country, try to find a Bible that is not geared to Christian doctrine… or supplies for keeping a Hebrew festival… they just don’t exist here unless you live in a highly Jewish population.

Some of this is just supply/demand at work. But it also overlaps into privilege. You and I simply don’t see it because everything fits us. Step outside of your own experiences and try to see simple shopping from a different point of view. Everything (most everything) is geared towards people of light skin tones: advertisements, shelf space, and product placement.

This is what privilege is in part. It is also the fact that if two people of the same qualifications apply for a job, one is dark, one is light, facts and data show that the light-skinned person is going to get the job time and time again over the dark-skinned person. Is this because the interviewer hates dark people? Not necessarily, it has to do more with comfort and what we are used to. The familiar.

Same can be said about men and women. Men are far more likely to get and keep a job (especially in certain sectors) than women, and get potentially better pay. Data and statistics show this, you simply cannot deny that it exists. Does it mean that men hate women? Not necessarily. It has a lot to do with the familiar. Is it fair? Not at all. But it is reality.

That is privilege.

Not seeing this problem because you cannot identify with it, is privilege.

Source: Facebook

As a person with dreadlocks I have experienced being treated differently by others because of their perceptions of us (people with dreadlocks). I’ve heard them all I think… dirty hippies… pot smokers… lazy… unprofessional… the list of adjectives goes on and on. I feel that I have been passed over for jobs due to my hair style. My hair is neat, clean, and looks very nice when I go to an interview… but there are still perceptions shared by many in our culture about what people with dreadlocks do, and who they are. People simply do not understand. Is this hate? Just ignorance? Is it a bias? Is it discrimination?

Ah, but my hairstyle is MY choice you say.

That is correct.

I can choose.

I can’t however change my skin tone, or the fact that I am a woman. Nor can I change what other people perceive about me unless I take the time to build a relationship with them and educate them about who I am. And then there is that part about them being willing to learn. I have no control over that.

What we understand about different cultures and/or the so-called “races” makes a huge difference about how we perceive and react to others who are different from ourselves. Ignorance, misconceptions and stereotypes about other cultures promotes fear and indifference, and in some, hate. But most people do not hate others who are different, they simply prefer their own familiar faces. This is common to all people groups around the world. “Familiar” is what we are comfortable with. We aren’t familiar with dreadlocks and counter-cultural-ism (well most of us). We aren’t familiar with different cultures or variations in skin tones if we don’t make it a priority to learn. When we don’t learn from others we take the negative stereotypes in, by default. It is human nature. We think negatively about black men in hoodies. We think negatively about dread-locked people of all skin tones. We think negatively of those who speak a different language, especially Spanish. We think negatively about homeless people. We think negatively about people on welfare… We all do at some point. I have done it. I still do it. I have a lot to unlearn. But I am trying.

Part of this battle is all in our heads. It’s not simply about thinking and acting. Part of the issue at hand is an ingrained reaction to differences. These are things that we learn over the years (subtleties) and are conditioned to react to. Part of that is simply the familiar, or those that are most like ourselves. There is a natural tendency to gravitate to the familiar. We can change the way our brain perceives others by learning about different cultures, by making diverse friends, by reaching out and hearing what others have to say about their experiences.

I don’t believe in “races”.  Because fundamentally I believe in a single Creation and Creator. I believe in the human race. One race with variations. Different shades and colors of beautiful humans. One G-d. One mankind. One people with various cultures and giftings. Different people who have so much to share with one another. We should acknowledge our differences and be proud of them. We shouldn’t hide ourselves or shun others because we are different. We shouldn’t be afraid of acknowledging when we have a problem. We do have a problem in our society, well, we have more than one to be sure, but privilege is a serious issue that we can do something about. We will either embrace this fact and work towards a solution that really works, or we will continue to ignore it.

To really effect change we must listen to our brothers and sisters of color who are saying that they get treated differently. Who are we to say that they do not? How can a man say that I do not get treated differently because I am a woman? He has no idea. He is not a woman. But he does have a choice. He can empathize with me, hear my testimony, and understand that I am frustrated, he can be my ally & he can support me in my efforts to bring change.

Or he can say that I’m crazy and that I am a man hater and that there really isn’t a problem.

The question that I present to you is: do you take the time to hear what others are saying about their experiences are you just hearing your own voice?

If we listen to people of color we will hear the frustrations that they feel on a daily (minute by minute basis) about their lives and how they are treated. We will hear from mothers who fear for the lives of their sons every time they walk out the door. We will hear from women in labor who are afraid of giving birth because they know what their child is going to face as a darker-skinned person. We will hear that finding a job is very difficult, even more-so than it is for you and me. You will hear a lot of things that you and I never even gave thought to.  If we try to walk in their shoes as much as possible we can relate on some level (for me, I can relate as a woman and as a dread-locked person). Empathy can go a long way in bringing resolution. If we empathize with the struggles of our fellow human beings it will change the way we think and act towards them.

Or we can keep calling them haters. Telling them that they don’t know what they are talking about. We can keep saying that we aren’t racists, there isn’t a problem here, move along.

Other thoughts by others:
Explaining White Privilege to A Broke White Person
White People Need to Acknowledge Benefits Of Unearned Privilege
More Thoughts on Why the System of White Privilege is Wrong
Purple Doesn’t Exist
On the Benefits of Overreaction 

*Please note: I used the meme from Smash Cultural Marxism because it was the exact one shared on Facebook, I do not advise visiting their website. I found them very offensive and racist on many levels, even denying the Holocaust. I do not approve, promote or otherwise support them. SMH