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Category Archives: Journey

We have Mother’s Day, we have Father’s Day, we even have Grandparent’s Day. But what bout those pesky brothers and sisters?

Today is National Siblings Day. A relatively new holiday (and not officially recognized yet) it is merely a teenager, 14 years old. But for those of us who grew up tolerating annoying little sisters and brothers, or bossy big know-it-all sisters or even the over-protective brother, this is momentous. We finally get a day set aside to reminisce those wonderful memories of growing-up with other little people under the same roof.

I have three biological siblings and many more non-bio siblings that have joined the family over the years. Most of my memories are naturally of those whom shared the same roof as I, even if for short periods of time. I had the torturous experience of growing up with two full-time siblings until I was an advanced teenager…then came Mert. Periodically we had Billy & Mike for summer visits.

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Those mug-shots are from somewhere circa 1990-ish.

Most of my memories about growing up with my siblings involved some sort of fighting or disgruntlement. There were many grave injustices, which of course always happened to me... There were “clean up the room” fights, and “who does the dishes” fights, and “why did you cut my doll’s hair off” fights, and no one will ever forget the “why did you paint my Bon Jovi Scarf” epic fight. The “stay on your side of the bed” fight was a regular occurrence in our case, my sister and I always shared a room except for a few brief moments in history.

There were astonishing amounts of “why do I always have to do all the work” statements and plenty of rolling of glasses-clad eyes and sighs… oh the sighs.  But there were those tender moments…

*crickets*

Surely, there were tender moments?? Right??

Ah yes, but those came later. Much later. Grown adult moments. Holding each other’s newborn babies, or getting birth announcement phone calls. Being in the wedding party. A sweet hug after a long absence. Rejoicing in one another’s joys. A strong embrace in moments of grief. Sharing an inside joke, or a good laugh after a stinky fart…(outside mind you). And copious amounts of adult beverages.

The Fab Four

The Fab Four

Now look at us, all grown up!

They are mine. I am theirs. We cannot deny each other, we are stuck with one another for life. 😉 *evil laughter*

I love them & miss them all. Even my “new” siblings who joined in along the way: Missy & Matt & Kathleen & Sean & JOHN!!

…it was a bit unorthodox, but it works for us!
Since the kids are still quite young we had some fun making a Pesach tablecloth telling the story of the 10 plagues. We used some inspiration from Challah Crumbs coloring pages and fabric markers and got to work. I spaced ten circles around an oval, each representing one of the 10 plagues that hit Egypt-recorded in Scripture, encircling the Hebrew word for Pesach on our tablecloth. We don’t use the typical seder plate, so our table-cloth is sort-of our seder setting.

Thing 1 and I did most of the work. I sketched out the rough drawings and she got to work coloring in the motifs. Starting with #1, her specialty (Egyptology) and making her lettering look like it has little highlight bubbles… 🙂 She is proud of her little signature marks and she is quite creative (and knowledgeable about Egypt’s history).pesach2015

Thing 2 and Lil’ Bit preferred to play outside, they didn’t realize all of the fun we two were having… until they came in, and great wailing and gnashing of teeth came to pass when they discovered only two motifs remained! *gasp*

Once we finished our art work we heat set the cloth. We’ll add a few finishing touches with some white puffy paint so our table-cloth will be textured. Then some hemming of the two ends. Another project for another day is making some matching napkins and matzah covers.

pesach2015.2We enjoyed various modern Passover songs, including the best ever… Bohemian Rhapsody parody. You should watch it. Our meal was a seasoned, seared beef roast, sweet potatoes, Brussels sprouts & matzah w/karpas and charoset of course. And wine. White Merlot is yummy! And of course, it was enough!

Much to Thing 2’s dismay, Thing 1 discovered the afikomen and was awarded a cash prize. With a lesson about grace and mercy, Thing 2 and Lil’ Bit were rewarded with small gifts of their own. Teaching moments… once a homeschooler, always a homeschooler.

We have a few new recipes to try this year for our week of Unleavened Bread but are already looking forward to next year and our cool tablecloth. ❤

A lot can happen in a single decade. Things you never even dream about. Life can really morph in ten years.

Mine certainly has.

Emma R. Wadkins

Emma R. Wadkins May 27, 1926~January 29, 2005

When I look back and ponder how death affects family dynamics, sometimes I laugh, and others, I cry. My Grandmother was the type that could really pull things together, or throw a huge monkey wrench into the works, if she wanted to. She was full of vim and vinegar and I loved her dearly.

When your family Matriarch passes on, and the reality hits you that you are now standing in the place that your Mother once occupied… and she in turn is now the “Great” Grandma and Matriarch of the family… your mortality hits you squarely between the eyes. Holy Smoke’ms comes to mind!

I remember my ancient Great-Grandmother W, the lines on her face, her slight frame, yet it seems there was something feisty inside. I don’t remember my Great-Grandmother B, there are only photos of her in my mind and stories. My Grandmother has only held one of my children, her Great-Grands. My children do not have memories of their GG-ma, only Thing 1 and these are limited, bolstered by my stories to her and photos. My sister’s children have those precious memories, I hope that they value them, for they are indeed precious.

Ah, but enough of the sappy stuff….

My Grandma was a lot of fun. She was talented and opinionated. She was dedicated. She was handy with a gun and a hammer. She believed in doing a job well. She was a good cook when she wanted to be. She was meticulous in her crafts. Her sewing and leather work were simply amazing, as was her handwriting.

Grandma taught me a lot of things, some by proverb and some by example. Mostly she taught me a lot about family, what to do and what not to do. I miss her and I wonder how different life would be if she were still here? Yet I don’t wish her back. Each of us has a time, a season for everything under heaven. I am thankful for our time together.
Love you Grandma.

I first saw the auroras as a kid in Kansas, yes, in Kansas! I remember watching the dancing ribbons above the Sherwin Williams plant on Lewark St. Must have been an X class flare that week! I’ve waiting a very long time to see them again. And have been trying since April of last year!

Two nights back my friend Barbra sent me an aurora alert text! So I hopped up and tossed on some clothes and jacket (it’s beginning to get a little chilly at night) and shoes, and out I went. She said they were pretty faint so I had to let my eyes adjust to the light. Then I saw them. They were a pale green streak just above the trees with a few ribbons dancing above. Oh how long I have waited… My heart swelled. ❤

I enjoyed my moment with the dancing souls and then decided to wake up Thing 1. She has really wanted to see them, almost as bad as I have! I got her up and we went out in the cold night together. The stars were amazing. The Big Dipper dominates our night sky here you know, but the Milky Way was making a statement and was quite amazing! She had a hard time making the green hue out (having never seen them before) due mostly to their changing shape and hue and the faint glow of Anchorage’s city lights. We snuggled up on the bumper of our rig and watched. Pretty soon you could see these spires sticking up like beacons shining out into the Universe. She finally saw them! It was one of those special moments, you know, when you witness your child learning/discovering something brand new. The wonder in her voice. My heart swelled. ❤

We enjoyed our midnight moment. It was a good reminder to enjoy more little moments like this in the future. ❤

This one is mine. 🙂

Ever since I became a doula, way back in 2005 when I took my training, I’ve wanted to go on to study midwifery. I always thought that would be something to do later, you know, when the kids were grown and all that. Recently I’ve gotten the bug to be back in the birthing business, with my doula service and birth arts. I’ve been making connections here, and I’ve been here long enough that I feel more familiar with the area and how to get around without getting completely lost! So I started working on my Facebook business page again, working on some business cards, networking, etc. Then I get presented with the opportunity to apprentice with a local midwife! How awesome is that.

At first I thought, eh, no way. But the more I think about it and talk about it seems like the perfect timing. So I have begun the process of preparing to enroll in a training course, I like AAMI. Researching license requirements and fees. And I started a YouCaring page for those who may wish to help me along this journey!

I’ve also discovered that Alaska has one of the highest (if not the highest) percentage rates of out-of-hospital births, at nearly 6%! We have so many options to choose from here, it is a breath of fresh air to see so many birthing options for women!! Even our small town here has a birth center. Larger cities like Anchorage and Fairbanks have several to choose from. Our local hospital even boasts a “birth center” environment. So there is always a need for more midwives. Job security I guess you could say!

So there it is, my dream.

 

memorial.dayCelebrating the Fourth of July, or Independence Day as it should be called, has always been a part of our family’s traditions. When we were kids we would usually go to one side of the family or the other for a cook-out/picnic and fireworks display after it turned dark enough. Going to Grandma’s house was always fun, she made her famous potato salad, always the same every year, and ate her’s warm. We would spread a large beach towel out on the picnic table for a table-cloth and sit around the table for a family meal.  Grandma was quite the patriotic American. Old Glory would be flying, she would often be dressed in something red, white and blue. She’s the one who instilled in me the love for our Nation’s Flag.

I remember the nasty sparklers that always burned our hands or worse, our feet, yet we still wanted to have them and write our names in the dark. We had to have our “lady finger” firecrackers and smoke balls. Grandma always loved a good fountain display. Us kids always wanted the vibrant and loud. Our poor neighbors.

Over the course of my lifetime I’ve seen so many changes in the people of these great United States. Everyone likes to complain about our government, it does too little, does too much, does the wrong thing, yada yada yada. But is it really the government who is to blame? What about the people who put (and continue to put) these same types into power? The people are really the ones to bear the blame. Be the change you want to see. Make a difference.

It seems to me that people no longer understand what liberty is. What true freedom looks like. Honestly, I’m not sure I really understand as all I have ever known has been this pseudo liberty/freedom that we currently have, ever eroding. I think that living here in Alaska gives me a better idea of individual liberty and freedom, and the responsibility that comes with that. You have to make your own way, and sometimes that means paying for it yourself and doing it yourself. Not having something handed to you. We as 21st century Americans like to have things handed to us.

I would like to challenge you today. Have you ever read the Declaration of Independence? It’s about 5 pages in total, with the signatures, only 3 or so pages of actual text, shouldn’t take you too long. I’d like you to read it, together as a family would be best. But let us take a few moments to remember what this “holiday” is really about. 56 men stood up to an unfair system. They pledged all that they had, risked their lives, their families and their holdings.  They weren’t perfect, none of us are. But they had a dream for better place to live, a better way to live and a better way to be governed. We have strayed a long way from those principles.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the
political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the
earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle
them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes
which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by
their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit
of Happiness.— That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving
their just powers from the consent of the governed,— That whenever any Form of Government
becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to
institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in
such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness…

 

Continue reading here.

 

Dreams, sometimes they mean something, sometimes they don’t.
Sometimes the message is personal, sometimes it has a broader application.
I had a dream about Dad last night.
First one in a long time, actually, I can’t remember the last time I had a dream about him since he passed.
This one wasn’t about past memories. It was about current time.
He was beautiful to see, tall and healthy.
Visiting with friends.
Happy.
Gave me a big hug.
There were no tears, only smiles.
He was getting ready to tell me something, and I woke up.
I wish I hadn’t…

I’ve listened to my friend’s tales of her adventures at Chickenstock for years now, she has planted the seed of desire in my heart to go one of these years! I hope that 2015 can be that year! I first heard of Chicken when I visited Alaska in 1994, when I read the book “Tisha“. Thanks Fairbanks for sharing your adventures and inspiring me to experience Chickenstock! Hope to see you there next year!

cloud9doula's avatarAlaska, The Madness

Yes I know, this is my 5th year going to Chickenstock and Eagle and using this same title, but hey, it’s the perfect title.  Why mess with perfection?  But really, I can only repeat these so many times, so if you would like to hear more of the story or see some of the other years with more pictures and/or story, check out these other years as basically I am dumping my pictures here and posting it.

2010

2011

2012

2013

We begin with Chickenstock Music Festival in the little town of Chicken, Alaska.

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My friend Kate’s husband, Dave Parks of Grassroots Guitars.

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Such a little cutie just dancing away.   Mostly it was just kids dancing during the daytime.

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Spank Williams and friends.

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Dry Cabin String Band

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The Flock

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The Cluck Off was a tie!  We were dying with laughter because these two finalists really brought it.  They were…

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This is it!! No, not an earthquake…  The big 1-0-0 th post. I’m a little behind schedule in getting here, I thought I would coincide with our one year anniversary and make it a super big post of sorts. Well that didn’t turn out as planned, so here it is.

100PostWe have been super busy here of late. We moved to Soldotna to be closer to work and school and all the fun things we find ourselves doing all seem to be focused over here, so it made sense to move closer. It is nice to only have a few minutes drive to anywhere and anything, better than half an hour!

We’ve spent a fair amount of time indoors these past few weeks due to the poor air quality resulting from the Funny River Fire, but thankfully the fire is fully contained now and only smoldering in a few spots, being fully managed by fire crews. Amazing enough as it was, no homes or businesses were lost in this massive fire. Over 700 personnel were brought in to fight it and it got way too close for comfort for many families. Our friends who live up Funny River Road (the cabin we built last fall) were evacuated but thankfully the fire was stopped about a half mile from their home. Much too close! But all is well that ends well. We remain a grateful community to all of those firefighters, volunteers and incident team workers who were able to keep homes from harm and eventually with the help of the rain get this monster under control.

Time enough has passed, the fire teams are gone, new things are happening and for most of the community the fire is “old” news.

We celebrated the girls’ birthdays this month. I can’t believe that I am the Mother of an 11-year-old! Time does seem to fly. And a five-year old who seems to have discovered mischief in a new way. Little Bit has always been the easy-going, doesn’t get into much trouble, sweet little cutie pie that everyone loves. Here lately she has discovered that her cuteness only goes so far. 😉

Last weekend for Little Bit’s birthday we spent some time at the Kenai River Festival. We didn’t get to go to this last year as we really weren’t here long enough to know about it. We discovered that it was a great thing to go to! The kids had so much fun and could have easily spent all day there. As it was, three and a half hours was enough fun for Mama… The festival is full of learning opportunities and activity booths designed to educate young ones about our water ways and salmon, our livelihood around here in many ways. They learned the life cycle of salmon, why properly fitted and worn life vests are so important, how to properly poop in the woods (yes, there is a proper way to poop) and what an 8.0 earthquake is likely to feel like.  The festival was a lot of fun, but the best part about it came afterwards… and I’ll tell you about that in another post!

That pretty much sums up things for us now. Father’s Day found me emotional and sappy. Thoughts of Dad, this time last year I was spending time at his cabin. Also about Richie, my awesome step-dad. I sure do miss his fuzzy mustache kisses and “face spanks” as he calls them… 😉 He’s the sort of step-dad I always wanted growing up and never had. I guess I can truly say good things come to those who wait. I can’t wait until he brings himself here for a visit. He will love the great outdoors, fishing and community, he’ll fit in like a real Alaska man. Love you Richie!

 

Today is our one year anniversary in Alaska!

This was our first glimpse at the beauty surrounding Homer last June.

June 2013 overlooking Kachemak Bay

June 2013 overlooking Kachemak Bay

We’ve seen all four seasons cycle, bears, moose, a wolf, a few caribou, and so much beautiful scenery. One never grows weary of it all! We’ve been awed, inspired, stuck in the mud, stuck in the snow, on adventures we never even dreamed of… Alaska is a good fit for us. Being surrounded by nature, learning, exploring, living and loving…. a great way of life!

We are looking forward to new adventures this summer! Spending time at the beach searching for treasures beyond measure, maybe doing a little fishing… who knows??

To all of our loved ones, we miss you and send you lots of loves!! XOXOXO