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Cletus is my nickname for my sister, and her’s for me (one of them anyway). Yeah, we both call each other Cletus. It stems from our favorite scene from our favorite movie to watch together (well, outside of anything that Johnny Depp stars in) The Nutty Professor.

We can sit and watch that movie over and over and recite the lines together, it’s quite amusing… usually with Moscato in the equation. 😉

Today is Cletus’ birthday. Her second one away from me. She is missing from me.

I miss all of my family and having their smiling faces around of course! 

So I sit here, thinking about all of our fun times and wishing her the bestest birthday ever! ❤ Hoping that one of these days we’ll get to sit down together and watch The Nutty Professor again… and laugh at our own silliness. While drinking some Moscato of course!

cletus

I first saw the auroras as a kid in Kansas, yes, in Kansas! I remember watching the dancing ribbons above the Sherwin Williams plant on Lewark St. Must have been an X class flare that week! I’ve waiting a very long time to see them again. And have been trying since April of last year!

Two nights back my friend Barbra sent me an aurora alert text! So I hopped up and tossed on some clothes and jacket (it’s beginning to get a little chilly at night) and shoes, and out I went. She said they were pretty faint so I had to let my eyes adjust to the light. Then I saw them. They were a pale green streak just above the trees with a few ribbons dancing above. Oh how long I have waited… My heart swelled. ❤

I enjoyed my moment with the dancing souls and then decided to wake up Thing 1. She has really wanted to see them, almost as bad as I have! I got her up and we went out in the cold night together. The stars were amazing. The Big Dipper dominates our night sky here you know, but the Milky Way was making a statement and was quite amazing! She had a hard time making the green hue out (having never seen them before) due mostly to their changing shape and hue and the faint glow of Anchorage’s city lights. We snuggled up on the bumper of our rig and watched. Pretty soon you could see these spires sticking up like beacons shining out into the Universe. She finally saw them! It was one of those special moments, you know, when you witness your child learning/discovering something brand new. The wonder in her voice. My heart swelled. ❤

We enjoyed our midnight moment. It was a good reminder to enjoy more little moments like this in the future. ❤

My Facebook feed is full of heavy topics lately: Social Injustice & Inequality, The homeless and poor, Illegal Immigration, Crisis in Israel, and the threat of ISIS… the list goes on and on.

I am going to pick one and discuss it a little more in-depth. Domestic Violence

I see so many good intention-ed folks making comments about “why don’t women just leave?” and “I wouldn’t put up with that”… things that I have said myself over the years. One simply doesn’t know what they would do until placed in that situation. We can imagine, we can think we have a plan. But when it comes down to reality, how we would react in any given situation is up for review after we are placed in that position.

“Do you feel safe at home?” This (or some variation) is a standard question at any prenatal meeting with your healthcare provider these days. And with good reason, a woman is beaten in the US every 15 seconds, and “according to the U.S. Surgeon General, domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States“.
Each day …..4 women die as a result of abuse.
Each day …..3 children die as a result of abuse.
Read those statistics again…

4 women.

3 children.

Each.

Day.

That is 1,460 women per year. And 1.095 children per year.

Two nights ago a former childhood friend and schoolmate became one of those statistics. Her name was Crystal. She wasn’t just a number. She was someone’s daughter, sister, Aunt, Mother, Friend. She was a living soul.

As birth workers, we are in the privileged position of seeing into the lives of women and their families closer than many others can or do. We have to ask these questions or share information with our clients about domestic violence because it is so prevalent.  One in 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. And pregnant and postpartum women are at significant risk.

 Pregnant and recently pregnant women are more likely to be victims of homicide than to die of any other cause. ~ * JAMA article

And it isn’t just women, men are harmed in domestic abuse as well. Crystal’s adult son was killed while trying to confront his Mother’s alleged attacker, who happened to be her husband.

Domestic violence is of particular concern here in Alaska. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Alaska’s statistics on violence against women are among the highest in the nation. Due in part to the significant alcohol and drug abuse that happens here in our great state. Also to the remote nature of many of our towns and villages, there simply are not resources to help women out of violent situations, let alone women with children.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship seek help. There are people who care, and those who can and will help you. Don’t wait, don’t become a statistic. Don’t end up like Crystal. In the Kenai area you can call the Leeshore Center (907) 283-7257 for the rest of Alaska, check here for a list of resources and phone numbers. 

If you have never been in an abusive relationship or are not in one now, count your blessings. Thank your partner for their love and respect.  I will also challenge you to read some of the resources I have linked to, prepare yourself to know how to assist someone trapped in domestic violence today, be prepared! Volunteer at a local center or make a donation to support them in their efforts of helping women and families.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline number is
1-800-799-S A F E 

 

ETA: If you would like to make a donation to help with Crystal’s final expenses, please donate here. Thank you!

More resources:

Help for Abused and Battered Women  Practical application, safety planning, privacy and protection, information on restraining orders, etc.

The Facts on Domestic Abuse  Data on all forms of domestic violence: rape, stalking, assault, homicides, resulting health issues.

*JAMA article: Frye, V. (2001). Examining Homicide’s Contribution to Pregnancy-Associated Deaths. The Journal of the American Medical Association, 285, No. 11, March 21, 2001

Some random thoughts… and update on my journey.

“With Woman”: That is literally what “midwife” means, from the Middle English around the 14th century. A term that has stood the test of time, for a variety of reasons.

When you attend a woman in labor, you are quite literally “with” her, in the most intimate, primal and spiritual moments of her life.

Midwives don’t ‘deliver’ babies, they only catch them, women deliver their own babies. Midwives don’t take the credit for it.

I spent a good deal of time discussing my goals with one of the midwives from Anchorage last week. She gave me some helpful tips, affirmed my choice in midwifery schools and encouraged me.  Next step: I need to get certified in adult CPR and Neonatal Resuscitation.

My YouCaring page doesn’t show my most recent donation, but I’m up to $385 now!! I am so grateful!! I cannot express my gratitude enough!

 

 

What a busy day! Our first day free of rain and available to get some work done around the place. A good frost this morning was a reminder that we need to finish our firewood cutting and hauling. Spent some time harvesting garden goodies like peas, squash and rhubarb. Still have more peas and rhubarb to harvest, and turnips, beets and who knows what else! Not much time to sit down at the computer!

Spent the day thinking about Dad.  Today is his birthday. This time last year, we had just spent a chilly night ‘camped’ out under a dilapidated cabin due to being lost in the woods near Dad’s cabin. We learned a lot about make-shift shelters and building a fire in the drizzle/rain. Also about staying warm and being careful about not getting lost again… things like that!

Having some friends over tonight for dinner. We’ll enjoy a toast of some sweet rhubarb wine in honor of Dad, of course!

Circa 1997

Circa 1997

Happy birthday Dad!

Yesterday I spent most of the afternoon processing a big bag of rhubarb that was given to us. I put 1 1/2 gallons in the freezer, made a batch of rhubarb syrup, prepped a gallon for rhubodka (rhubarb vodka) and Thing 1 and I made a Pineapple Rhubarb crisp for dessert.

Dad's garden with rhubarb in the foreground.

Dad’s garden with rhubarb in the foreground.

Rhubarb does exceptionally well here. We are planning a nice rhubarb patch here once we get out to divide the plants in Dad’s garden. Besides the usual, rhubarb cobbler, we try to use it in other ways. I made some rhubarb salsa a while back, it was pretty good! Did you know that rhubarb has many health benefits? Of course one doesn’t want to overload it with sugar, but cup for cup, rhubarb has as much calcium as milk! And easier to digest. It is high in fiber. Also a wonderful source of folate, vitamin C and believe it or not, very high in Vitamin K! 45% RDA in one serving of Vit K. Wow! As far as minerals go it is high in manganese, potassium and phosphorus.  Add some rhubarb to your diet today!! Check here for stats and a yummy rhubarb salad recipe to boot!

 

This one is mine. 🙂

Ever since I became a doula, way back in 2005 when I took my training, I’ve wanted to go on to study midwifery. I always thought that would be something to do later, you know, when the kids were grown and all that. Recently I’ve gotten the bug to be back in the birthing business, with my doula service and birth arts. I’ve been making connections here, and I’ve been here long enough that I feel more familiar with the area and how to get around without getting completely lost! So I started working on my Facebook business page again, working on some business cards, networking, etc. Then I get presented with the opportunity to apprentice with a local midwife! How awesome is that.

At first I thought, eh, no way. But the more I think about it and talk about it seems like the perfect timing. So I have begun the process of preparing to enroll in a training course, I like AAMI. Researching license requirements and fees. And I started a YouCaring page for those who may wish to help me along this journey!

I’ve also discovered that Alaska has one of the highest (if not the highest) percentage rates of out-of-hospital births, at nearly 6%! We have so many options to choose from here, it is a breath of fresh air to see so many birthing options for women!! Even our small town here has a birth center. Larger cities like Anchorage and Fairbanks have several to choose from. Our local hospital even boasts a “birth center” environment. So there is always a need for more midwives. Job security I guess you could say!

So there it is, my dream.

 

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memorial.dayCelebrating the Fourth of July, or Independence Day as it should be called, has always been a part of our family’s traditions. When we were kids we would usually go to one side of the family or the other for a cook-out/picnic and fireworks display after it turned dark enough. Going to Grandma’s house was always fun, she made her famous potato salad, always the same every year, and ate her’s warm. We would spread a large beach towel out on the picnic table for a table-cloth and sit around the table for a family meal.  Grandma was quite the patriotic American. Old Glory would be flying, she would often be dressed in something red, white and blue. She’s the one who instilled in me the love for our Nation’s Flag.

I remember the nasty sparklers that always burned our hands or worse, our feet, yet we still wanted to have them and write our names in the dark. We had to have our “lady finger” firecrackers and smoke balls. Grandma always loved a good fountain display. Us kids always wanted the vibrant and loud. Our poor neighbors.

Over the course of my lifetime I’ve seen so many changes in the people of these great United States. Everyone likes to complain about our government, it does too little, does too much, does the wrong thing, yada yada yada. But is it really the government who is to blame? What about the people who put (and continue to put) these same types into power? The people are really the ones to bear the blame. Be the change you want to see. Make a difference.

It seems to me that people no longer understand what liberty is. What true freedom looks like. Honestly, I’m not sure I really understand as all I have ever known has been this pseudo liberty/freedom that we currently have, ever eroding. I think that living here in Alaska gives me a better idea of individual liberty and freedom, and the responsibility that comes with that. You have to make your own way, and sometimes that means paying for it yourself and doing it yourself. Not having something handed to you. We as 21st century Americans like to have things handed to us.

I would like to challenge you today. Have you ever read the Declaration of Independence? It’s about 5 pages in total, with the signatures, only 3 or so pages of actual text, shouldn’t take you too long. I’d like you to read it, together as a family would be best. But let us take a few moments to remember what this “holiday” is really about. 56 men stood up to an unfair system. They pledged all that they had, risked their lives, their families and their holdings.  They weren’t perfect, none of us are. But they had a dream for better place to live, a better way to live and a better way to be governed. We have strayed a long way from those principles.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the
political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the
earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle
them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes
which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by
their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit
of Happiness.— That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving
their just powers from the consent of the governed,— That whenever any Form of Government
becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to
institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in
such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness…

 

Continue reading here.

 

Dreams, sometimes they mean something, sometimes they don’t.
Sometimes the message is personal, sometimes it has a broader application.
I had a dream about Dad last night.
First one in a long time, actually, I can’t remember the last time I had a dream about him since he passed.
This one wasn’t about past memories. It was about current time.
He was beautiful to see, tall and healthy.
Visiting with friends.
Happy.
Gave me a big hug.
There were no tears, only smiles.
He was getting ready to tell me something, and I woke up.
I wish I hadn’t…